Great Hope in Great Loss with Kim Hardy, Part 1
Emily Dickinson's infamous line, "Hope is a thing with feathers" can leave us thinking that hope is light, fanciful, and flighty. But true hope is like concrete anchored deep in bedrock.
Author and speaker Kim Hardy knows the immense need for hope after losing her father at a young age and her beloved brother as a young married woman. In her training as a teacher she began to realize how her unrecognized and unresolved issues were keeping her from a full life.
Along her journey of growth, her relationship with God changed as she saw him not as a distant figure but of being right next to her. He wasn't there to condemn but to help and give hope!
Order Kim's book, Fighting My Battles With God On My Side, and visit with her about speaking engagements, especially for teens!
Connect with Kim on socials at:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hardykim82
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hardyk82/
Email: info@sunflowersofhope.com.
Amazon book link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1951350979?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_dp_9YPRQ4FHX1HH2DAJNR7Q
Empower yourself and your family to engage fully in God’s grand story. Subscribe to Hi(Impact) at Stephanie Presents for insights, encouragement, and practical resources!
Book Stephanie to speak to your women, parents, Christian educators, and students.
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#hope
#hopeforthehurting
Transcript
If your desire is to become spiritually stronger, emotionally healthier and relationally smarter, you're at the right place.
Speaker A:Speaker and writer Stephanie Smith inspires and equips you to achieve these three key aims.
Speaker A:If you're a parent, you also learn how to raise empowered kids ready for adulthood.
Speaker A:Let's get started.
Speaker B:Welcome to the LiveSkate3 podcast.
Speaker B:I'm delighted to have with me today a Sky speaker and author Kim Hardy, who has a heart and a passion for ministry.
Speaker B:And you are going to love hearing from her and she just a delight to have.
Speaker B:So Kim, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker B:I'm delighted that you're here.
Speaker B:And tell me, so you are coming from what state?
Speaker C:I'm coming from Texas.
Speaker B:Texas.
Speaker B:And I know having lived in Texas a number of years ago, that Texas is like, I mean, they still kind of have that attitude that the rest of y'all get to join us, right?
Speaker B:Because it was its own country.
Speaker B:A lot of people don't know that, but it actually was the Republic of Texas.
Speaker B:And I love that civic attitude and, and that heart for Texas.
Speaker B:Kim, you're going to share with us today something that is, is a message and, and just that we're going to have a conversation about a topic that is important, important for every single woman and I think at some degree or another, every woman and men as well deal with this issue of, of needing hope.
Speaker B:None of us get through life without dealing with pain and suffering in different areas and hope is, is just a big part of your story.
Speaker B:So can you just, you know, kind of share with us specifically, you know, what we've chatted about is the difficulty in learning how to live accepted.
Speaker B:You know, how do we deal with acceptance and the ever present rejection that we all deal with in some, in some area or some degree or another.
Speaker B:What are some of the differences that you have found between the secular advice and the biblical advice on how you handle the problems and the battles of life that all of us inevitably face?
Speaker C:Growing up, for me, the secular world wasn't near as it's all about me.
Speaker C:It's all about me as it is today.
Speaker C:But it's still, we're, we're selfish people.
Speaker C:We're self centered, we want what's best for us.
Speaker C:And seeking that acceptance through the world is where we fall.
Speaker C:We want that pat on the back.
Speaker C:We want the great job, keep going.
Speaker C:You know, look at me, I want to be accepted by this, the smart people.
Speaker C:I want to be accepted by, by the athletes.
Speaker C:Look at, look at that football player.
Speaker C:You See that star football player?
Speaker C:Oh, look at the cheerleader.
Speaker C:Let me go.
Speaker C:You know, in today's world, that never stops because we have smartphones and we have the Internet.
Speaker C:We have access to anything.
Speaker C:We want access to any time of the day.
Speaker C:We cannot step away from it.
Speaker C:Let me rephrase that.
Speaker C:We can step away from it, but oftentimes we choose not to.
Speaker C:And we just bombard ourselves without even realizing that we're just seeking this acceptance, that we want that, like on Facebook, we want that.
Speaker C:The, the, the heart.
Speaker C:You know, we just, we want that acceptance.
Speaker C:We just crave it.
Speaker C:But it's because we are made for acceptance from God.
Speaker C:We love that acceptance.
Speaker C:We were created, he accepts us.
Speaker C:And that's where we have to find our acceptance.
Speaker C:We cannot seek the pat on the back, but although it feels great, but if that's what we're seeking, it's going to, it's going to cause us to fall.
Speaker C:Every time when we look to the world, we have to look to Jesus and accept him and his love for us.
Speaker B:You know, it's interesting, you know, in talking about how social media, you know, our access to literally the world has amplified that issue.
Speaker B:Didn't start with technology, but it certainly has amplified it.
Speaker B:And I was listening to somebody the other day who said they're, they're a host of a very successful podcast and they've had like a million, million downloads.
Speaker B:And they were saying even how they, as a Christian can even have that temptation to start thinking, well, why not 10 million?
Speaker B:You know, so no matter what that status is, when we get there, how many times do people find out, well, but then there's always the next person, the next thing you know, or whatever.
Speaker B:You know, one of the things that you talk about is that your life would have been very different without the Lord by your side.
Speaker B:And I love the way that you phrase that, you know, by your side, not just present up in heaven, but right there, present with you.
Speaker B:And so can you just kind of share with us what would that look like?
Speaker B:How would that be different if you did not have the Lord walking with you throughout life?
Speaker C:Well, first, let me say for a very long time, I did view God as a distant God.
Speaker C:I viewed him as someone who was up in heaven and kind of like a spiky child God, you know, like, you messed up, slap ya, you know, kind of thing.
Speaker C:And I did that because I lost my father at a very young age.
Speaker C:And it.
Speaker C:You, you misconstrue things when you do not have that Christian influence steadily in Your life and your connection to God the Father and your earthly Father.
Speaker C:Because we're human.
Speaker C:We make that connection.
Speaker C:And without that connection, I was lost.
Speaker C:And I did not realize that God was actually by my side.
Speaker C:He was with me.
Speaker C:And when I started to understand that is when things started to change for me.
Speaker C:It has been a long process.
Speaker C:It's not been an easy road by any means.
Speaker C:So whoever tells you that walking the Christian life and accepting Jesus is going to be easy, don't listen, because that's not the truth.
Speaker C:And I.
Speaker C:I don't say that to be a discouragement.
Speaker C:I say that to encourage you.
Speaker C:Because who.
Speaker C:Who better to lean on than.
Speaker C:Than the Creator of the earth, Right?
Speaker C:The Creator of.
Speaker C:Of you.
Speaker C:This God created you.
Speaker C:He knew you long before you were created.
Speaker C:I mean, before you were born.
Speaker C:Sorry.
Speaker C:He created you.
Speaker C:And so that in itself is just amazing.
Speaker C:And then to know that he's right here with me, like he is walking this road with me.
Speaker C:And I'm not alone.
Speaker C:I may feel alone as.
Speaker C:As a matter of fact, in this room, there's no.
Speaker C:Nobody here.
Speaker C:But Jesus is with me right now as I'm talking.
Speaker C:And he's carrying me through all these life events that have gone, that are going on, that have gone on in my past.
Speaker C:And, you know, they say hindsight's 20 20.
Speaker C:Well, it is.
Speaker C:And I've been allowed to see, oh, wow.
Speaker C:Well, God has been fighting my battles.
Speaker C:His hand was in my life this entire time.
Speaker C:And here I am facing a new calling, a new purpose, you know, writing and stepping out in faith.
Speaker C:And I'll admit I'm doing it scared.
Speaker C:But I know that he is fighting my battles, and he is right here with me.
Speaker B:Well, first of all, Kim, I just want to say I'm sorry for the loss of your father at a young age.
Speaker B:I don't know that there's too much more that can have a profound impact on.
Speaker B:On a child's development.
Speaker B:I'm curious.
Speaker B:You know, you talked about that.
Speaker B:This is a process.
Speaker B:What.
Speaker B:What kind of started you on a journey of.
Speaker B:And I don't know if there was like an event or a series of events or if it was just kind of a slow, steady change that came in your life where you began to make that transition from thinking about the God up there in heaven somewhere and the God who's right here next to me.
Speaker B:What did that transition kind of look like?
Speaker B:How did that kind of happen for you?
Speaker C:It's been a very slow process, Stephanie.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:Until recently.
Speaker C:And then I feel like God has pushed fast forward, but it took years.
Speaker C:First, I had to realize that God was for me, not against me.
Speaker C:And I also had to realize that I had some trauma, to be honest, that I didn't even realize was considered trauma that I needed to deal with.
Speaker C:And before I could really start healing from all of that and allow God in and work in me, which he was working in me, obviously, this whole time.
Speaker C:But to acknowledge, I guess is what I'm trying to say, that he was working in me.
Speaker C:I had to first acknowledge, you know, losing your dad did cause some.
Speaker C:Some issues.
Speaker C:Growing up in an environment that was more toxic than healthy, that causes some issues.
Speaker C:And I'm no longer a teacher, but I had 12 years experience as a teacher and just realizing these things, like being a teacher kind of, you start.
Speaker C:You go to different classes to educate yourself on how to teach students, and you start learning about home environment and what that looks like.
Speaker C:And then I'm sitting there learning for myself how to help my students, and I'm thinking, oh, this is me.
Speaker C:Oh, so this is why I do this.
Speaker C:And I had to start making those connections with understanding, oh, this is why you react this way.
Speaker C:This is why you get so upset whenever this happens.
Speaker C:Or.
Speaker C:And so it has been a slow process, but thankfully, again, God, I had a friend tell me, it's like, it's like an onion.
Speaker C:It's like layers.
Speaker C:He just peels the layers back a little bit by little bit.
Speaker C:He does not come at you in an aggressive manner.
Speaker C:He, he's, he's a gentleman.
Speaker C:He's going to step back and say, all right, here we go.
Speaker C:This is what we need to handle.
Speaker C:Let.
Speaker C:Let's do this.
Speaker C:And then me, I'm going to admit I'm a tad bit stubborn that you can blame that on my Texas roots if you want to.
Speaker C:So sometimes there has been a no, God, I don't want to.
Speaker C:To deal with that today.
Speaker C:No, no, thank you.
Speaker C:And I'm a feeling stuffer, so I'll stuff my feelings and then, you know, something happens and I'm just like, I'm better than I used to be, a whole lot better.
Speaker C:But I still have my moments.
Speaker C:I still have my days.
Speaker C:And so it's just, it's been a slow, honestly, at times, very painful process to walk through.
Speaker C:But I'm so grateful and thankful.
Speaker C:I would not change that for the world.
Speaker C:The hurt and the pain.
Speaker C:Okay, maybe, you know, who, who wants to walk through that?
Speaker C:But I am so much better.
Speaker C:I'm so much healthier because of the grace of God.
Speaker B:You know, I love that you're just very honest in talking about that.
Speaker B:This has been a slow process.
Speaker B:And, you know, I'm still kind of like God, I.
Speaker B:I'd really like to sign up for the quick and easy plan.
Speaker B:Where is that in life?
Speaker B:You know, I know.
Speaker B:You know, my.
Speaker B:My son actually was sharing with.
Speaker B:With us the other day that, you know, just a recognition for him of when God shines a light on the dark places of our life, that it's not a matter that it's like, okay, light shined, all right.
Speaker B:And then he doesn't just like immediately extract that from us.
Speaker B:That sometimes that's a process of going through that, you know, seeing the darkness that's in our lives.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:Okay, now, now I've got to go through this process of working that out.
Speaker B:So I appreciate you talking about that.
Speaker B:Certainly there are.
Speaker B:That God divinely provides deliverance for somebody in.
Speaker B:In an area.
Speaker B:And you have talked about also that kind of slow.
Speaker B:But then you kind of feel like God's kind of put things, you know, a little bit on fast forward and, and that can happen as well.
Speaker B:One of the things that, that you share about was you didn't just lose your father, but you.
Speaker B:You lost a brother.
Speaker B:And, and that addiction.
Speaker B:And so seeing that in your life also, you know, has had an impact.
Speaker B:So can you kind of share with us the impact of that on you?
Speaker B:Because there are listeners, and I would say the majority, maybe every person who's going to be listening to this, if they're not dealing with or haven't dealt with or need to deal with some kind of addiction in their own life, they know somebody else who, who is in the middle of that.
Speaker B:Either they need to be dealing with an addiction that they don't recognize, or they don't want to admit to yet, or they are struggling with one.
Speaker B:And we all need all the hope and help and encouragement and practical wisdom that we can get on, on.
Speaker B:On those issues and how we can walk through those, you know, with other people and then recognizing the impact that that has on ourselves.
Speaker B:So to the degree that you feel comfortable, can you just kind of share with us about that?
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:I lost my brother 5 years ago in August.
Speaker C:So right before COVID did kind of just place everything, give you a bigger picture what was going on at the time.
Speaker C:We're pretty certain that he did not die of an overdose or anything, that he was.
Speaker C:He was clear, clean, but he.
Speaker C:He had his struggles like we all do.
Speaker C:He was smart.
Speaker C:I was jealous of my brother, he.
Speaker C:Because he had the brains and he was an athlete and he, I mean, he was just natural, just so natural, so gifted.
Speaker C:And like everybody, he was seeking acceptance, but in the wrong way.
Speaker C:He took a road that I chose not to take.
Speaker C:He was offered drugs as a teenager and he wanted to fit in.
Speaker C:And so he, he took, you know, he was like, okay, I'll take it.
Speaker C:And when he started, I was off at college.
Speaker C:So I do not know exactly how it played out, but I can tell you that when Nick and I were first married, we allowed him to move in with us to try to help him, to give him an escape, to get away.
Speaker C:And it was okay for a little while, but then things started to go bad and it started to hurt our marriage and so we had to ask him to leave.
Speaker C:And that put a damper on our relationship even more than what was already there.
Speaker C:But he, he was such a big hearted person.
Speaker C:And if he would have turned to the Lord instead of drugs, I think not.
Speaker C:I think I know his life would have been so much different than it.
Speaker C:He ended up dying of a heart attack or a stroke, we're not certain which one, but that runs in the family.
Speaker C:That's actually how my dad died of a heart attack.
Speaker C:And so it's one of those.
Speaker C:Was his body just worn out from the drugs?
Speaker C:He was also a diabetic.
Speaker C:So all these things, you know, just add up and you're not real sure.
Speaker C:But it was his time to go.
Speaker C:And so the Lord called him home.
Speaker C:And I have a peace that I didn't have about it at first.
Speaker C:At first I was, you know, going through that process of just grieving and being angry.
Speaker C:And I don't even think for a while that I even allowed myself to fully grieve, to go through that whole process.
Speaker C:And again, because I'm a feeling stuffer and I had to, you know, suck it up and let's go.
Speaker C:Your mom, you've got a family to take care of.
Speaker C:You don't have time to deal with your emotions.
Speaker C:And so that was just another one of those things that God has delivered me from.
Speaker C:But it's taking a while to do that, to get through that process and to finally just be at peace and remember, God is for me.
Speaker C:He's not against me.
Speaker C:This was not the spiteful, you know, God from my childhood that I thought he was.
Speaker C:This is.
Speaker C:God doesn't want us to be addicted.
Speaker C:He doesn't want us to have these struggles.
Speaker C:That was never in his mind when he created Adam and Eve, when he created us, that's not what he wants.
Speaker C:But unfortunately, the flesh just can be so overwhelming.
Speaker C:And that craving, that desire that I need to feel good wins.
Speaker C:A lot of times.
Speaker C:You know, I.
Speaker C:I don't have a.
Speaker C:An addiction per se, but I can tell you.
Speaker C:Sugar.
Speaker C:I run to sugar.
Speaker C:So much chocolate.
Speaker C:Oh, I love some chocolate.
Speaker C:You put chocolate in front of me and it's very hard for me to say no.
Speaker C:I mean, it's just like, here you go, Here you go.
Speaker C:And I'm like, no, stay away, Stay away.
Speaker C:And I dance.
Speaker C:I'm not trying to make light of, like a drug addiction or an alcohol addiction or porn addiction or any type of addiction.
Speaker C:I'm not trying to make light of it.
Speaker C:I'm just saying that my struggle has not necessarily been with a strong addiction other than acceptance, if you want to look at it like that.
Speaker C:I struggle to this day with acceptance.
Speaker C:I want people to like me.
Speaker C:I can't help it.
Speaker C:You know, I think we all do.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:I think that that desire.
Speaker B:There's nothing wrong with the desire, but what we do with that desire is either going to align with how we've been created.
Speaker D:We are going to pause here.
Speaker D:We will continue this conversation next week, so make sure to tune back in.
Speaker D:In the meantime, there will be links in the show notes.
Speaker D:You can connect with Kim on Facebook.
Speaker D:You can also get a copy of her book, it just came out last year, and it's called Fighting My Battles with God on My side.
Speaker D:You can look that up.
Speaker D:You can find that it's available right there on Amazon.
Speaker D:And buy one for you, buy one for a friend, buy one for a book club or for your women's group.
Speaker D:Because hope is one thing nobody gets too much of.
Speaker D:Not the right kind of hope anyway.
Speaker D:And I know you've been able to tell just from listening to Kim talk today that she knows what it is to have hope in her own life.
Speaker D:Not because she had this easy life, but because she has put her faith in a God that she didn't always really know from the inside out, loved and cared about her, and was with her.
Speaker D:But now that transition is there where God is with her.
Speaker D:And you know what?
Speaker D:We can and need to have that same awareness in our life.
Speaker D:God's not just this power up somewhere in the heavens or the universe or floating around mystic.
Speaker D:He is with us.
Speaker D:He is present with him does speaking events for both women and also youth.
Speaker D:And if you are paying any attention at all to what's happening with our young people today, you know that they need hope.
Speaker D:The epidemic of anxiety and depression and worry and fear here is profound amongst our young people.
Speaker D:So look up Kim.
Speaker D:Consider inviting her to come and to speak to your youth as well as to your women.
Speaker D:Well, that is going to wrap us up for today.
Speaker D:As I said, we will be back next week with part two of our conversation.
Speaker D:I just want to say, maybe as you were listening today, Kim's story stirred up some hurt and some pain in your life.
Speaker D:Maybe you know what it is to have lost a parent, a sibling, or someone precious dear to you.
Speaker D:I just want to remind you what our friend Michelle Riddell shared with us a couple of episodes back when she talked about how joy and sorrow can coexist.
Speaker D:But we have to make sure choices to allow those things to be present in both of our lives.
Speaker D:And maybe you have a loss of some kind that's very fresh for you.
Speaker D:Maybe you are still just in the early stages of it.
Speaker D:Maybe it is a loss that was a long time ago, but it still feels very fresh to you.
Speaker D:It's not like losses just dissipate over a period of time and they have no more significance.
Speaker D:Because in reality, sometimes as we go through life seasons, those losses remind us of this person isn't here in this particular season of my life to share this event, to share what I'm experiencing right now.
Speaker D:But we have a God.
Speaker D:But for God, we would be without hope.
Speaker D:But we do have this hope that he is with us now and he will forever be with us if we choose to be present with Him.
Speaker D:You know, maybe you're listening to this podcast and you just happen to come across it.
Speaker D:Or maybe you're like, I don't even know exactly how I started listening to this.
Speaker D:And you don't know that God is with you.
Speaker D:And I just want to encourage you, send me an email.
Speaker D:Then reach out to a church or pastor in your area that studies and knows and believes the Bible.
Speaker D:Our churches are not equal in terms of what they teach.
Speaker D:So we have the Internet, hop online, do some work, read through their statement of faith, look them over and see are these people who really, truly are going to be able to believe and help me to come to faith in the God of the universe and through his son, Jesus Christ.
Speaker D:Or is this just kind of an organization that just has the word Christian attached to it?
Speaker D:And as I said, you can also reach out, connect with Kim.
Speaker D:She has a heart of compassion and ministry.
Speaker D:You can also reach out to her as well.
Speaker D:Okay, well, I think that is going to wrap us up for today, and I want you to remember this because it is absolutely true.
Speaker D:You have an impact that is immeasurable, internal and irreplaceable.
Speaker D:I'll see you next time.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening.
Speaker A:Visit the website stephaniepresents.com and sign up for High Impact to join the mission of building spiritually strong, emotionally healthy and relationally smart women and families.
Speaker A:You can also book Stephanie to speak at your event and check out additional resources.
Speaker A:Together we can invite and equip generations to engage fully in God's grand story.
