Why We Need to Ditch Four Popular "Christian" Phrases
Language matters. The words and phrases we use have an impact -- whether it's immediate or results from a slow-build.
Today we examine four familiar phrases Christians use that need tossing. While the intention might be good, that doesn't mean the effect is. We look at:
- "God doesn't call the qualified; he qualifies the called."
- "Christians aren't supposed to judge."
- "God wants to use you."
- This isn't so much a phrase as an idea expressed in different ways. Christianity isn't a packaged set of correct theological beliefs; it's a way of living.
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Transcript
Have you ever heard or used the phrase, God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called?
Speaker A:I have.
Speaker A:I've heard it and I don't like it.
Speaker A:And I think we need to stop saying it.
Speaker A:We're going to talk about that and a few other phrases today, and I'm going to explain why.
Speaker B:If your desire is to become spiritually stronger, emotionally healthier, and relationally smarter, you're at the right place.
Speaker B:Speaker and writer Stephanie Smith inspires and equips you to achieve these three key aims.
Speaker B:If you're a parent, you also learn how to raise empowered kids ready for adulthood.
Speaker B:Let's get started.
Speaker A:Hello, my friend.
Speaker A:I am delighted that you are back today with us at the Life's Key3 podcast.
Speaker A:Before we dive into these phrases that I just want to encourage us to stop using and let's find some replacements for, I would like to invite you to go to my website, stephaniepresents.com and there's two things to do there.
Speaker A:The first is if you're not already a subscriber to High Impact, sign up for that.
Speaker A:And then secondly, I have a form on there where you can submit some questions or ideas or topics about raising boys.
Speaker A:If you are in the thick of it with raising boys, or maybe you have already raised your kids, but looking back, you think, oh, this is what I wish that I had understood.
Speaker A:This is what I would like for moms and dads who are raising sons right now.
Speaker A:I would like for them to know.
Speaker A:So there's a form that you can submit on there.
Speaker A:It's, you can keep it totally anonymous if you want to, or you can include your name and email.
Speaker A:But I am collecting that information.
Speaker A:There's some resources that I'm working on for parents who are raising boys and I would love to have your questions and your ideas and your insight.
Speaker A:So that's another reason to go to the website Stephanie presents.com okay, let's talk about these phrases that I am going to highly recommend we ditch, we stop using, we find replacement for.
Speaker A:And I am talking about this because our words matter.
Speaker A:They have an impact.
Speaker A:And certainly there are those words or phrases that we could say one time and it would have an immediate impact either for the good or for the bad.
Speaker A:We wouldn't have to say them over and over and over again for them to have a significant impact.
Speaker A:The phrases that I'm talking about today don't really fit into that category.
Speaker A:These are more things that have a slow build.
Speaker A:They accumulate over time, and because of that they can affect us without us even realizing the impact that they are having.
Speaker A:And because we want to be people of high impact.
Speaker A:That's the reason for the name for the newsletter.
Speaker A:We want to be thinking not just in terms of those big things in life that have some sort of immediate impact, but we also want to be thinking about those things that accumulate over time and they shape our perspectives, and they also end up shaping the perspectives of other people that hear this.
Speaker A:And that includes our kids.
Speaker A:Okay, so the first one I mentioned in the very beginning, and that is the phrase God doesn't qualify or God doesn't call the qualified God qualifies the called.
Speaker A:It sounds great, right?
Speaker A:I mean, it just sounds noble, it sounds inspiring, it sounds encouraging.
Speaker A:And here's the thing, okay, I get the meaning for that.
Speaker A:But we have to be mindful not just of our intentions when we say something.
Speaker A:We.
Speaker A:Part of our responsibility as we mature is to be mindful of the impact that our words can have.
Speaker A:Not just to say, well, as long as my heart's right, or as long as I mean it, well, that's enough.
Speaker A:It's no, I need to be thinking about how somebody else might hear this and receive this and what this might mean to them.
Speaker A:So here's the problem that I have with that.
Speaker A:It creates this perception that anybody that God is going to give a calling to can't be too terribly qualified.
Speaker A:Don't have too impressive of a resume, and then God's going to be able to give you a calling.
Speaker A:Don't be too educated, don't be too.
Speaker A:Don't have too much experience or polish or expertise, because God just passes you over.
Speaker A:And to be certain, there is a difference in us trusting in our own abilities and becoming prideful and arrogant and looking at ourselves and thinking, well, we are all that and a bag of chips.
Speaker A:And so, of course God is going to give me a calling.
Speaker A:So I understand the tendency to think about those people and to say, well, God isn't going to give them a calling no matter how, quote, qualified they are.
Speaker A:Because what he's really looking for is a person who has an open and willing heart.
Speaker A:And that is true.
Speaker A:God is looking for a person who has a willing and open heart.
Speaker A:God is also looking for someone who has been a faithful steward of the abilities and the opportunities that he has provided.
Speaker A:And when we say things like this over a period of time, especially our young people can start to have this idea that they might not even be able to fully articulate to themselves, but it does impact how they show up in the world and the ambition that they have and the goals that they set and the limitations that they put on themselves.
Speaker A:Because if a kid grows up hearing this, oh, you know, God doesn't call the qualified.
Speaker A:He qualifies the called.
Speaker A:Okay, I guess I'm supposed to not aim too high.
Speaker A:Don't let me set goals that would seem to be impressive to the world around me.
Speaker A:Because God doesn't really call those people into special things, you know, for their lives.
Speaker A:He just ignores them.
Speaker A:And I don't believe that's true.
Speaker A:I think the reality is God calls both people.
Speaker A:He calls both sets of individuals.
Speaker A:He does.
Speaker A:And we see this in Scripture where there are times that somebody shows up and we are just looking at God and going, excuse me, have you seen that person's resume?
Speaker A:Gideon is an example of this.
Speaker A:Gideon was not the candidate who was voted most likely to lead by any means that did not fit him.
Speaker A:He was the candidate who was voted, you know, most likely to hide.
Speaker A:And that's what he's doing.
Speaker A:When an angel comes and says to him, oh, you know, hey, mighty man.
Speaker A:Gideon's kind of looking around like, excuse me, but who exactly are you talking to?
Speaker A:Because I'm the only one here.
Speaker A:And that definitely is not my resume.
Speaker A:So is there somebody invisible here that I can't see?
Speaker A:Now, I don't mean that the Bible tells.
Speaker A:It says exactly what he did and what he said, but kind of reading between the lines there.
Speaker A:So God sees in him this potential that Gideon doesn't see in himself.
Speaker A:And God brings him through a set of decisions he has to make and then events where he does become qualified to step into the calling that God has for him.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker A:We see those things happen, but we also see that God does also call the qualified.
Speaker A:Much of the New Testament was written by one man.
Speaker A:It was written by this apostle named Paul.
Speaker A:Paul was qualified.
Speaker A:And it can be easy for us to dismiss all of his training and his knowledge and his experience.
Speaker A:Especially when we look at some of the verses where he said, you know, he kind of gives a list of his personal resume, and he says, you know, I count this as garbage.
Speaker A:But in the context of what he's saying, he's not saying that has no value.
Speaker A:I wish I had never learned everything that I learned.
Speaker A:He's saying that compared to Christ, this is not what has given me purpose and strength and value.
Speaker A:That is not what has given me righteousness.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's belief in Christ.
Speaker A:And not just in some theological way, but in a real.
Speaker A:This is what my life is devoted to kind of way.
Speaker A:But we're also able to see, as Paul writes and travels and he speaks to all these different people groups and all these different major cities, that he is able to connect with people, he's able to understand enough about their culture, about their belief systems, that he is able to interpret the gospel to them in a way that they can understand and they can relate to.
Speaker A:So the first phrase I would like us to ditch is this phrase that God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.
Speaker A:And let's just replace that all together with saying God calls people whose hearts are devoted to him, period.
Speaker A:And then we also need to teach the truth that God does give us abilities and opportunities, and he expects us to be good stewards of those.
Speaker A:Now, the second phrase is one that we don't just hear within the church, but we also hear this with.
Speaker A:From people outside of the church.
Speaker A:But it's.
Speaker A:It's both groups of people.
Speaker A:And that is the statement, well, we as Christians, we are not supposed to judge.
Speaker A:I mean, the Bible says, do not judge.
Speaker A:Yes and no.
Speaker A:The Bible does say at certain points, don't be a judge of other people.
Speaker A:And at other points in the Bible, it says, what do you mean you can't judge for yourselves?
Speaker A:I mean, this is ridiculous that you cannot make judgment calls about things that are here.
Speaker A:And it does say to judge in other places.
Speaker A:So what do we do with this?
Speaker A:Because it's not just one.
Speaker A:It's not like there is one message from Genesis to Revelation that says you are never to judge anything for any reason, for any purpose.
Speaker A:It says at some times don't judge, and it talks at other times about you need to judge.
Speaker A:That's part of your calling as a human being and as a Christian.
Speaker A:And this is where we need to have an accurate understanding of Scripture and of context and of understanding.
Speaker A:And I don't mean that we have to have some seminary degree where we can understand the root Greek word and in its proper tense or the right Hebrew word.
Speaker A:I don't mean that.
Speaker A:I mean those things can matter and they can add layers to.
Speaker A:To those phrases and those verses so that we have an accurate understanding, but we don't have to have that in order to understand the principles.
Speaker A:When, again, I've talked about this many times before, when we understand that all truths come in a set and they don't contradict each other, but they hold each other in tension so that we can live a whole balanced life.
Speaker A:If we are to take the idea that we are not to judge to its logical conclusion.
Speaker A:That means that I would give people, any person, access to me, to my children, to the people that I love or that I'm responsible for.
Speaker A:Well, of course, we don't do that because we recognize that there are people in this world who would do us, our children or our loved ones harm in some way or another.
Speaker A:And so there's this difference between judging from a place that I am acting as a condemner, I am acting as the one who is saying, you do not have a right standing before God, and I am looking in on your heart and also looking with discernment at a situation.
Speaker A:Now, that doesn't mean that we act as if we can never judge anything about a person's heart.
Speaker A:The Bible doesn't teach that.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:So matter of fact, Jesus says that it is by our love, it is by the fruit of our lives that we are known.
Speaker A:Well, that requires some judgment, some discernment, some looking to see, is there any fruit?
Speaker A:What kind of fruit is there?
Speaker A:Does it line up with what the Bible has said about what is good fruit and what are.
Speaker A:Is the fruit of unrighteousness and of evil?
Speaker A:That requires discernment.
Speaker A:That requires judging.
Speaker A:And as Christians, we need to be careful that we don't become cowardly and we lack courage and we submit to what's really a subtle form of manipulation.
Speaker A:When people who are not believers, like, well, you Christians, you're not supposed to be judging.
Speaker A:And what they mean by that is don't have any discernment.
Speaker A:Don't say that there is a set of behaviors that are right or wrong and that we have a responsibility for how we align our lives with them.
Speaker A:That is being intimidated, and that is giving into a form of deceit and manipulation.
Speaker A:Even if it's ignorant manipulation, that's still what's going on there.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be intentional and nefarious in order to be destructive.
Speaker A:So let's get rid of that whole phrase as well and do the more mature, complex work of saying we do need to have discernment.
Speaker A:We need to walk in discernment.
Speaker A:We do need to judge, but not as God judges.
Speaker A:And so there's.
Speaker A:There's a difference there in how we apply that.
Speaker A:The.
Speaker A:The third phrase that we want to get rid of is, oh, God wants to use you.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:There is no other human relationship where we would say that.
Speaker A:And it would be a positive thing if somebody came to me and pointed to a colleague and said, oh, that coworker.
Speaker A:They just really want to use you.
Speaker A:I Would not be jumping up and down going woohoo, that's great, bring it on.
Speaker A:I would be like, okay, thanks for the warning.
Speaker A:I will be paying attention to that.
Speaker A:I will be using my discernment and making some good judgments about that individual.
Speaker A:We don't say that because we have an understanding that that's self centered, that serves one person's end and it's a way of not respecting someone else.
Speaker A:And I know, I understand the reason that we say this and I've even said this before, but I am working to try to replace this because again, over a period of time that can create a perception of God.
Speaker A:And it doesn't mean it's going to lead us to walk away from him, but it can handicap the relationship that we have with Him.
Speaker A:Earlier today I was out for a run and as I was running and just kind of thinking about some things and praying about some things, you know, one of the things I realized is sometimes I can end up thinking that God only sees me as if I'm a customer of His GPS system.
Speaker A:Because I do ask God a lot for direction and for wisdom and for leading me in different paths and what do I do in this situation and how should I handle this relationship and where should I go in this area of life and we are supposed to ask God about those things.
Speaker A:But if I become so focused on asking God for direction, direction, direction, direction, direction all the time, then basically I end up treating God like he's my spiritual GPS system.
Speaker A:And it's not about a relationship of love and out of love that he is trying to direct me in paths that I need to go in.
Speaker A:It's more like that's all God cares about.
Speaker A:Like I just want to get you from point A to point B because that's what I want.
Speaker A:Because I want to use you and in order to do that I've got to get you from point A to point B.
Speaker A:That's not who God is, it's.
Speaker A:And when he calls us to show up with our abilities and he gives us opportunities, yes it is, because our lives matter and how we show up has an impact and it is eternal not just for us, but for other people.
Speaker A:But again, we want to be careful about the language that we use and we see that that is more an invitation into this grand story that God has.
Speaker A:And it's not using us like we're chess pieces and he's going to move us around the board so he can win the game.
Speaker A:The distinction between those can be nuanced and it can Be kind of subtle.
Speaker A:But again, our language matters over time, and it matters to us and it matters to our kids, and it matters to people who don't know Christ.
Speaker A:And if you think about someone who doesn't know Christ and they hear these kind of, oh, God just wants to use you.
Speaker A:Again, that's not a positive in any other area of life.
Speaker A:So let's replace that language.
Speaker A:Let's say something like, oh, God wants to invite you to be part of his story.
Speaker A:God wants to invite you to be part of this amazing life and purpose, because that's really what he is wanting to do.
Speaker A:And the last point that I want to talk about, I don't have a real clear phrase for this like we have for the other ones God wants to use as we're, you know, we're not supposed to judge.
Speaker A:And God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the call, you know, this one, though, is.
Speaker A:Is an idea.
Speaker A:It's a perspective that we need to get rid of.
Speaker A:And it is the idea that if we have the right set of beliefs, we're in good standing with God.
Speaker A:And I have seen that become more and more a part of our Christian culture.
Speaker A:And so we have people who are living clearly in ways that do not align with how God has told us to live.
Speaker A:But it's like, but I have the right set of beliefs, but I believe in God.
Speaker A:I believe in Jesus.
Speaker A:I believe that he died on the cross and rose again.
Speaker A:I have the right set of beliefs, so I guess I'm good.
Speaker A:And it's like, no, Jesus never said, by our beliefs, we will be known as his disciples.
Speaker A:He never says that.
Speaker A:He says it is by our love and it is by the fruit of our lives.
Speaker A:And he says it's not just those who hear the the Word.
Speaker A:It is those who practice and obey and do what he says.
Speaker A:And this is a concern for me, especially with the generation that we are raising up and they're coming behind us, because I see more and more of them who, oh, as long as I have the right set of beliefs, well, I'm good.
Speaker A:And Christianity is reduced to nothing more than this core package of theological statements.
Speaker A:And that's not what the gospel is.
Speaker A:The gospel is about all of life.
Speaker A:It is radically transforming us so that we live differently than most of the rest of the world does.
Speaker A:So that's something else that we need to be on guard against in our own life and in what we say and what we teach and what we affirm so that we're not trying to affirm people because we don't want to upset them, because we think, oh, we're not supposed to judge.
Speaker A:And when they're clearly not living, aligned and in obedience to the things that God has said, this is how you're supposed to live.
Speaker A:But we're still kind of affirming them as, oh, but you're good because you have this set of beliefs theologically that you claim to.
Speaker A:To follow.
Speaker A:Okay, so those are four phrases and, and a belief system, an idea, the concept that I encourage us, let's get rid of those and let's replace those with things that more accurately align with God's purpose, with his character, and with the relationship that he wants to have with us.
Speaker A:All right, my friend, that is going to wrap us up for today.
Speaker A:Going to be back next week with some more guest episodes.
Speaker A:Very excited about some of those that are coming up.
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Speaker A:You have an impact that is immeasurable, eternal, and irreplaceable.
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