10 Creative Ways to Cultivate Gratitude in Kids
Nurturing gratefulness in kids isn't easy. But it's not impossible, either!
Cultivating a perspective of thankfulness isn't just about making your home life more pleasant -- although that's a good enough reason. But the connection between faith and gratitude is significant, and the cost of ingratitude is extraordinarily high. (See episode 133 for a deep dive into that lesson.)
Get ten action items you can apply for kids of all ages starting today. Start with one or go all-in with all ten!
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Transcript
What is a character trait incredibly important to your child's lifelong well being?
Speaker A:It's really hard to teach, but it also has a significant connection to their faith and the relationship with God that they have.
Speaker A:Well, stay tuned.
Speaker A:We're going to talk about that and 10 ways to cultivate that in today's episode.
Speaker B:If your desire is to become spiritually stronger, emotionally healthier, and relationally smarter, you're at the right place.
Speaker B:Speaker and writer Stephanie Smith inspires and equips you to achieve these three key aims.
Speaker B:If you're a parent, you also learn how to raise empowered kids ready for adulthood.
Speaker B:Let's get started.
Speaker A:Welcome, my friends.
Speaker A:I am grateful that you are here.
Speaker A:And if you happen to be listening to this on the day it airs, it is Thanksgiving Day here in the United States.
Speaker A:And if your country doesn't have a Thanksgiving, well, you can just adopt ours.
Speaker A:You can just borrow ours, we'll export it to you free of charge, no tariffs, no taxes, and you can adopt it for yourself, your family, who knows, maybe your community.
Speaker A:And even though people can get kind of carried away from the original purpose of the day of Thanksgiving, I am grateful that we still have this as a national day.
Speaker A:We set aside with the intention, whether we follow through or not, to give thanks, to give thanks to God, to give thanks to others for what we have, not just as individuals, but as a nation.
Speaker A:In the episode released earlier this week, I talked about the sobering story that we read in the Old Testament book of Exodus about the high cost for the Israelites.
Speaker A:Of what?
Speaker A:Of making a golden calf?
Speaker A:Of engaging in idolatry?
Speaker A:No, of not having gratitude.
Speaker A:Of not having an attitude of Thanksgiving, but instead having one of grumbling.
Speaker A:Now, as a parent, one of the truths is you are never going to have to teach your child to grumble and complain.
Speaker A:It will, in varying degrees and in varying ways and at varying ages, it will find its way out because it's just what resides in our heart until our hearts go through a process of transformation.
Speaker A:And I'd love to tell you that's a one and done, but it's really not.
Speaker A:However, we can start our kids on a good lifelong path.
Speaker A:We can give them a tremendous advantage by nurturing an attitude and a mindset and actions of gratitude.
Speaker A:So how do we develop attitudes?
Speaker A:Oh, well, if only that was a formula that we could just say, oh, here's 1, 2, 3.
Speaker A:We're going to plug these three factors in and poof, that's going to make sure it happens in our kids.
Speaker A:But that's Just not how parenting works.
Speaker A:So there is that truth.
Speaker A:However, there's also the other truth which holds this one in balance, and that is that we can impact and influence our children in certain areas.
Speaker A:And today I'm going to give you 10 tangible, practical, actionable ways that you can adopt in your family.
Speaker A:You can take what works for you and you can leave what doesn't to help your children develop a mindset, an attitude, a perspective of gratitude.
Speaker A:And the importance of this isn't just so it makes life a little more pleasant in your home and your family.
Speaker A:That's a good enough reason.
Speaker A:But that is there's a whole lot more at stake than just that.
Speaker A:And I'm not going to get into repeating all of that story because you can go back and you can listen to the last episode, episode 133 that aired just a couple of days ago, and you can listen to the whole meaning of that there.
Speaker A:Okay, so you're ready.
Speaker A:Here we go.
Speaker A:The first thing.
Speaker A:And by the way, these are not in order of importance.
Speaker A:These are 10 actionable items.
Speaker A:But this doesn't mean they're ranked in value or significance, partly because what has impact and value in one family might not have the same impact and value in another.
Speaker A:It might also have a tremendous benefit to one of your kids and it might not really mean that much for another.
Speaker A:So don't judge your kids individually and don't judge yourself with another family.
Speaker A:If you put some of these into practice and it just doesn't seem to have the same value as someone else, that's okay.
Speaker A:You find what works for you.
Speaker A:Number one, write thank you notes.
Speaker A:All right, all right.
Speaker A:I know thank you notes have become pretty out of touch, out of date.
Speaker A:They have become, quote, old fashioned for a lot of people.
Speaker A:But there is something about the process of sitting down and writing out.
Speaker A:And I don't mean sending a text or having an email.
Speaker A:I mean like actual paper, marker, crayon for a younger kid, marker, whatever pen, a note that says thank you for whatever birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Christmas is coming up for a special kindness that was done for someone.
Speaker A:Just have the habit of writing a thank you note.
Speaker A:There is something about the actual act of writing like with your hand, not just like with your fingertips, but like actually holding a writing instrument.
Speaker A:There is something about that process as the brain processes differently and the mind processes differently than even typing something out in a text or an email.
Speaker A:Now if for some reason you just can't get to writing a thank you note and putting an address on it and A stamp on it, which, I don't know, might be something your kid might want to know.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, there's this thing called stamps and envelopes and mail.
Speaker A:If for some reason that just doesn't work for you, then yeah, send the text.
Speaker A:Don't just use a bunch of emojis and acronyms and abbreviations, but have an actual note.
Speaker A:And if your children are too young to write for themselves, that's okay.
Speaker A:Have them tell you what they want to say and then you write it out for them.
Speaker A:All right, Number two, pick a couple of things that are a regular part of your life that are important for you, and have your child have it.
Speaker A:Have them learn to say thank you for that specific thing.
Speaker A:Not just once, but it becomes part of your family's dynamic.
Speaker A:One idea that I heard at one point was a family that required their kids to say thank you for the ride every time a parent gave that kid a ride somewhere.
Speaker A:So when they got home or they got to wherever they were going before the kid got out of the car, all they had to say was thank you for the ride.
Speaker A:Even if that kid was angry with you as the parent, they still had to say thank you for the ride.
Speaker A:So pick some things out like that that just are going to become part of your family's dynamic.
Speaker A:There is value in that consistency.
Speaker A:And it's not just about that particular activity like giving them a ride.
Speaker A:It's about expressing appreciation and cultivating this attitude and this approach, approach to life that is one of gratitude.
Speaker A:But don't be legalistic about this.
Speaker A:You don't need a list of 25 specific things that kids have to say thank you for every single time it happened.
Speaker A:Maybe just pick a couple.
Speaker A:Maybe just pick one to start with and then make those part of your vocabulary.
Speaker A:And it's not just for the kids.
Speaker A:It needs to be for you as well.
Speaker A:Number three, and this is not going to be any big surprise to you, but yeah, have a gratitude jar, journal or book, bulletin board.
Speaker A:You can have a lot of fun with this.
Speaker A:You can make it as big and splashy as you want, or you can make it as simple as you want.
Speaker A:Maybe it's just a simple journal.
Speaker A:It doesn't have to be fancy.
Speaker A:It can be a very inexpensive composition book and put it somewhere where everybody that can write gets access to it.
Speaker A:Don't stick it up on the bookshelf where it's going to get hidden in with 15 other books.
Speaker A:Put it somewhere, it's going to get used and looked at and it's open for everybody to jot things down in.
Speaker A:If you don't like to journal, then have it.
Speaker A:Have a jar.
Speaker A:Have a jar or a container or a basket of some kind.
Speaker A:And in or near that jar container, have a basket of index cards or slips of paper.
Speaker A:Have a pen or marker or something that's age appropriate for everybody to write with.
Speaker A:And again, have this in a central part of the house.
Speaker A:And people can just grab a slip of paper.
Speaker A:They can grab a index card, write a note, maybe put their name and their date on it, and drop it in that jar, that container, that basket.
Speaker A:And then every week, or however often, not like just once a year, but pull it out and just start reviewing some of those, speak them out loud to each other, get to the end of a week and go, hey, you know what?
Speaker A:Hey, yeah, let's just see what's.
Speaker A:What's new in here and just randomly pull things out and look at those.
Speaker A:You could also have a bulletin board of something like that.
Speaker A:I would also encourage you to have a personal gratitude journal for yourself and then for each of your kids to have one.
Speaker A:And again, even if they're too young to write for themselves, you can still write one for them.
Speaker A:You can ask them what they want to put in it, and you can just jot that down.
Speaker A:This does not have to be this big essay.
Speaker A:It can just be a list of items.
Speaker A:Very specifically, oh, here's an item.
Speaker A:Jot it down.
Speaker A:There we go.
Speaker A:And move on.
Speaker A:Over time, this can become a cherished item and not just something fun to look back on.
Speaker A:I mean, it can definitely be that, but it can also be a way, a powerful way to build your children's faith and your faith as a family to be able to look back and to say, remember this.
Speaker A:Remember when God blessed us with this.
Speaker A:Remember when this event happened?
Speaker A:Remember when that came in the mail or was a package or whatever it is.
Speaker A:It is a powerful way to build up not just our gratitude, but our faith, because those two things go hand in hand.
Speaker A:And again, I talked about that in depth on the last episode.
Speaker A:I'm not going to repeat all of that here.
Speaker A:But it's important to understand gratitude isn't just so we raise kind of nice people.
Speaker A:It is because our gratitude is directly tied to our faith in God and the character formation that we have.
Speaker A:Okay, number five.
Speaker A:Have a specific prayer of thanks.
Speaker A:This might be a liturgical prayer that you write.
Speaker A:It could be one you find online.
Speaker A:It could be one that you.
Speaker A:That's a hybrid.
Speaker A:Maybe you find that different liturgical prayers and you make up your own.
Speaker A:It can be prayers from scripture.
Speaker A:Have one for every day of the week.
Speaker A:And I don't mean that you have to have 365 new ones.
Speaker A:You might be able to find a devotional with a different prayer of things for every week, but you don't have to do that.
Speaker A:You have one for Monday, one for Tuesday, one for Wednesday.
Speaker A:And at some point in the day, that gets read, that gets spoken, posted in a place where your kids can read it for themselves, where they get old enough to do that.
Speaker A:The repetition of that doesn't need to make that become trite.
Speaker A:The repetition of that actually is a way to build a practice of showing up with gratitude and thanks.
Speaker A:Because it's what we do, not just when circumstances make it easy.
Speaker A:Number six, say thank you to your kids.
Speaker A:Even when they do what they're supposed to do.
Speaker A:Make certain that you're expressing thanks to them.
Speaker A:You're not going to be able to raise kids that have a lot of gratitude if they don't see it from you.
Speaker A:And not just going out into the world, but if you don't, if they don't experience that coming from you towards them.
Speaker A:Gratitude is one of those things that's a little more caught than taught.
Speaker A:But we do need both, which is why I'm giving you this list today.
Speaker A:Use what is already happening in your life.
Speaker A:You probably have meals, you probably have a bedtime.
Speaker A:There might be other specific activities that happen in your kids lives every single day and maybe that will be for the rest of the time that you have them at home, or maybe it's for a particular season.
Speaker A:Habits stack with those.
Speaker A:So at meal time, list a specific item of things.
Speaker A:Maybe this is a great time to say, hey, what do we need to add to our gratitude journal or jar today?
Speaker A:At bedtime, it can be a habit of, okay, we brush our teeth, we're getting our PJs, you know, I mean, if you've got older kids, then, you know, you're checking off some of the list of what they need for school the next day or just, you know, all the different stuff that can go on there.
Speaker A:Okay, you've been in the shower for an hour, it's time to get out, whatever, all that kind of stuff.
Speaker A:You can also make it, hey, before we go to bed, one of the things we're going to do is we're going to say one word of thanks.
Speaker A:Thanks to God, thanks to somebody else in the family.
Speaker A:Something that we are thankful for that we express to someone else today.
Speaker A:Number eight.
Speaker A:And this kind of goes back a little bit to the first one, although the first one for thank you notes, that was to express gratitude for something that had been received.
Speaker A:This one's a little different.
Speaker A:And this is writing cards of thanks for people in their lives, not just for something specific that they have received like a gift, but for the presence of that person in their life.
Speaker A:It can be a teacher, maybe it's a Sunday school teacher, it's a pastor, it's a coach.
Speaker A:Perhaps babysitters, family, friends have that be maybe something that you do every month.
Speaker A:Just take a little bit of time, have the cards and things ready.
Speaker A:Those can be hand delivered, those could be put in the mail.
Speaker A:But again, to write a note of things, I will tell you that's not just going to be impactful for your kids, but it will be meaningful to people who receive those.
Speaker A:Number nine, have you ever thought about hosting an annual or, I don't know, you can make it quarterly, you can make it monthly thank you event for the people in your life.
Speaker A:Not just regular Thanksgiving that comes in November, but a different time of the year that you host an event and you invite the people in your life that you just want to say thank you for being a part of our life.
Speaker A:It could be something very simple.
Speaker A:It could be at your home, it could be at a park, it could have food, or it could just have snacks, or you could have a full blown meal.
Speaker A:But it's a way to be able to just say, hey, thank you for the people that are in your kids lives.
Speaker A:And lastly, number 10, have you ever thought about having a gratitude challenge?
Speaker A:You can make this a game.
Speaker A:You have an endless creativity in the ways that you can apply this.
Speaker A:And this can be for young kids and this can be for teenagers, but you're going to have a gratitude challenge.
Speaker A:Hey guys, for this month, we are going to see if we can identify a new person every single day of this month that we are truly grateful for in some way.
Speaker A:And we're going to do something to surprise them with an expression of gratitude.
Speaker A:Maybe even do it anonymously so they don't even know where it came from.
Speaker A:Whether it's a card, it's a plate of cookies, it's a small gift card to a place where they can go out and get a meal or a snack or.
Speaker A:I mean the creativity here is endless.
Speaker A:And it doesn't have to be something that you do anonymously, but it might be something to think about doing anonymously.
Speaker A:Just so you are teaching your kids that gratitude isn't just so people can look at me and go, oh, wow, look at them.
Speaker A:They said thank you.
Speaker A:They expressed gratitude.
Speaker A:They were so appreciative.
Speaker A:It's just about blessing other people and saying thank you.
Speaker A:Now, I didn't specifically list this as its own separate item because this is part of several of the other things that we talked about.
Speaker A:A gratitude jar, journal, bulletin board, saying a specific item of things that, meal times, bedtimes, those types of things.
Speaker A:But that is, it's not just about gratitude for other people.
Speaker A:It's also expressing gratitude for God.
Speaker A:Now, for young kids, that might be very generic, like, I'm thankful for God, that's okay.
Speaker A:But as kids get older, you want to help coach them and encourage them and model for them something more specific.
Speaker A:And the reason for this is because it makes God more real to them.
Speaker A:After a while, God just says it can become almost like a concept rather than know God is a someone who wants to be part of my life and who I want to be part of my life in a real meaningful way.
Speaker A:All right, my friend.
Speaker A:Well, there are 10 practical, actionable items that you can use to cultivate gratitude in your kids.
Speaker A:The biggest thing, of course, is going to be what you practice in your own life and the attitude that you show up with.
Speaker A:Because you could do all, all these things.
Speaker A:But if your attitude, your perspective is one of grumbling and griping and complaining and just not being very grateful, well, that's going to out rule all of these other things.
Speaker A:But obviously you're not that kind of a person.
Speaker A:You're here listening to this podcast and let me say thank you for that.
Speaker A:I appreciate you being a listener and it's great when I hear from you.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker A:When you reach out and you leave a rating and a review, thank you for sharing this podcast with other people so that they can also have value and benefit and their journey of becoming spiritually strong, emotionally healthy, and relationally smart.
Speaker A:So let me say thank you.
Speaker A:I am grateful for you.
Speaker A:And as always, remember this.
Speaker A:You have an impact that is immeasurable, eternal, and irreplaceable.
Speaker A:Have an awesome Thanksgiving.
Speaker A:See you next time.
Speaker B:Thank you for listening.
Speaker B:Visit the website stephaniepresents.com and sign up for High Impact to join the mission of building spiritually strong, emotionally healthy and relationally smart women and families.
Speaker B:You can also book Stephanie to speak at your event and check out additional resources.
Speaker B:Together we can invite and equip generations to engage fully in God's grand story.
