Five Ways to Avoid the High Cost of Ingratitude
The Old Testament book of Exodus includes a sobering story about the high cost of ingratitude. By default, we're at risk for repeating that mistake, but we can choose a different path.
We'll see the connection between gratitude and faith, thanksgiving and character. Drawing on Dallas Willard's work in The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God, we unpack five ways we can avoid the high cost of ingratitude.
Empower yourself and your family to engage fully in God’s grand story. Subscribe to Hi(Impact) at Stephanie Presents for insights, encouragement, and practical resources!
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Transcript
Which one of these two actions would upset you more?
Speaker A:If a child, spouse or friend complained about a gift that you gave them, or if they ripped up one of yours?
Speaker A:And which action do you think God might judge more harshly?
Speaker A:And why is this significant to us in our everyday life?
Speaker A:Stay tuned and you're going to find out.
Stephanie Smith:If your desire is to become spiritually stronger, emotionally healthier, and relationally smarter, you're at the right place.
Stephanie Smith:Speaker and writer Stephanie Smith inspires and equips you to achieve these three key aims.
Stephanie Smith:If you are a parent, you also learn how to raise empowered kids ready for adulthood.
Stephanie Smith:Let's get started.
Speaker A:Welcome Back to the Lives K3 podcast.
Speaker A:I am delighted that you are here.
Speaker A:And when this episode airs for the first time, it will be the week of Thanksgiving here in the United States.
Speaker A:And let me just say thank you.
Speaker A:Thank you for choosing to be a listener to this podcast.
Speaker A:Whether you have been around for a while or you are brand new, this wouldn't be possible without you.
Speaker A:Well, I mean, technically, yes, it would be possible to make and record a podcast and release it, but it wouldn't be very encouraging to keep making these and releasing these if people weren't listening.
Speaker A: getting ready to close in on: Speaker A:So thank you for being here and share this with somebody else.
Speaker A:Just one person.
Speaker A:All you have to do is just send them a quick email or text and say, hey, here's something worthwhile for you to listen to.
Speaker A:So, yes, as I said, it is the week of Thanksgiving in the United States when this originally airs.
Speaker A:And that means it's time for turkey.
Speaker A:Not.
Speaker A:Not for everybody.
Speaker A:I get that.
Speaker A:But traditionally, turkey is still going to be on a lot of platters this week.
Speaker A:And there's dressing and green beans and chips and soda and eggnog.
Speaker A:Maybe, maybe that's part of your Thanksgiving tradition.
Speaker A:Maybe you're like, we don't ever have eggnog.
Speaker A:Or you're like, are you kidding me?
Speaker A:That is only for Christmas.
Speaker A:In my home, one of the must haves is pumpkin pie.
Speaker A:And the reason for that is because I love pumpkin pie.
Speaker A:Not just any pumpkin pie, I have to say I am partial to the one I make myself.
Speaker A:And my kids know that I always make one for them and I'm going to make one for me.
Speaker A:Sometimes I might share, but they know that there, there will be plenty of pumpkin pie to go around.
Speaker A:You know, the reality is that Thanksgiving is incredibly important for us.
Speaker A:I'm grateful to live in a country where we still have this holiday that we set aside and we recognize at a national level, it is good to stop and give thanks.
Speaker A:And no matter how anybody celebrates it and whether they really stay focused on that or not, you can't go through the whole holiday season here in the United States, which pretty much kind of starts with Thanksgiving, without at least considering this whole idea.
Speaker A:And it's incredibly important to us.
Speaker A:And we see that going back in the Bible.
Speaker A:Now in the beginning of today's episode, I asked, you know, which one would upset you more?
Speaker A:If somebody that was close to you took one of your gifts and tore it up, or if you gave a gift to someone close to you and they just griped and complained about it?
Speaker A:And which one of those might God judge more harshly?
Speaker A:Now I'm not going to speak for God in this made up scenario, but fortunately we have a scenario that was maybe a little bit similar, but far more significant that we can look to.
Speaker A:And it has a sobering message to us about the importance of gratitude and thanksgiving.
Speaker A:So if we go back into the Old Testament, we read about when the Israelites had come out of Egypt, they had been slaves in Egypt, and God, through divine intervention, delivers them from Egypt and they come out and they are headed to the promised land.
Speaker A:They are headed to this land where they are going to be able to settle down, to build their cities, to live in peace, to live in freedom, and to be able to worship God and keep his covenants in all the totality of the ways that he was going to instruct them.
Speaker A:And along the way what happened, they run into problems.
Speaker A:You know, we need to keep in mind that when we are on the way to our promised land, that does not mean there's not going to be problems, there's not going to be obstacles and they run into some significant problems.
Speaker A:And I'm not going to detail all of those.
Speaker A:You can go back and read for yourself about that in the Old Testament, book of Exodus.
Speaker A:And they, they have a variety of different problems, but there is one commonality they have, unfortunately, and it is every time they encounter the next obstacle, you know what they do?
Speaker A:They start complaining, they start grumbling and griping and God comes in and he provides for their need, whatever that is.
Speaker A:And then they throw a party and they have like their worship service and it's like, woohoo, that's awesome.
Speaker A:You know, our God is awesome and great and wonderful.
Speaker A:And then that carries them through until they hit the next obstacle.
Speaker A:And then what do they do?
Speaker A:They start grumbling and griping and complaining.
Speaker A:And they start saying things like, God, you just bought us out here to die.
Speaker A:You just brought us out here to kill us off.
Speaker A:And they just start saying all these types of things.
Speaker A:And at one point, Moses goes up onto Mount Sinai.
Speaker A:He's up there.
Speaker A:And at the very time, I mean, the exact time that he is up on top of this mountain and God is giving them the law, which is an incredible gift because they have never had the.
Speaker A:An idea of how would we govern ourselves as a people.
Speaker A:They had never been in that situation as a nation before.
Speaker A:They had always lived in the government, under the government in Egypt, as they grew from starting as a collection of a family into a full fledged nation.
Speaker A:And they don't have a clue.
Speaker A:The only frame of reference that they have for how they're going to govern themselves is what they had experienced in Egypt.
Speaker A:And that is not what God wants for them.
Speaker A:And so out of his grace and his mercy, he gives them a law.
Speaker A:He gives them a set of laws.
Speaker A:Some are moral laws that remain fixed for all time.
Speaker A:Some are civil laws, just, okay, how are we going to deal with things if.
Speaker A:If your ox breaks into my field and eats all my grain?
Speaker A:And some were ceremonial laws about how they were to worship God in just real, tangible, earthy kind of ways.
Speaker A:Well, while this is going on, the people get scared.
Speaker A:God's taking longer than they think he should.
Speaker A:Hello.
Speaker A:Ever have that experience?
Speaker A:And what do they do?
Speaker A:They go to Aaron and they, you know, are like, hey, you know, do something.
Speaker A:And Aaron says, okay, bring me all of your, you know, your gold and everything.
Speaker A:And they, they bring all of their gold and all this together.
Speaker A:And Aaron and the goldsmiths, they fashion the golden calf.
Speaker A:And basically the people have a idolatrous orgy.
Speaker A:I mean, that's what goes on.
Speaker A:The people have just totally forsaken God.
Speaker A:They're not even trying to do what's right here.
Speaker A:And it's this horrible mess.
Speaker A:And Moses comes down from the mountain and there's a whole story about all of that.
Speaker A:Well, eventually that gets resolved and the people pack up and they continue to head off towards the promised land.
Speaker A:And as they encounter these obstacles, they keep doing the same thing.
Speaker A:Every time they come up against a new one, it's God, you don't care about us, and you brought us out here to die.
Speaker A:And we're just out here all by ourselves.
Speaker A:And finally they get to the border of the promised land.
Speaker A:I mean, they are ready to walk across and inherit this land that was flowing with milk and Honey, this land of abundance.
Speaker A:And there's a problem.
Speaker A:They're going to have to deal with some pretty big obstacles in order to take possession of what God had set apart for them.
Speaker A:And what do they do?
Speaker A:They start grumbling and groping and complaining.
Speaker A:And that is the point at which God says, all right, that's it.
Speaker A:You are not going to enter this land.
Speaker A:Your entire generation is going to wander around in this wilderness, and you're going to die off.
Speaker A:Why?
Speaker A:Is it because they had built the golden calf?
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Was it because they had thrown this idolatrous, immoral party back at Mount Sinai?
Speaker A:Nope.
Speaker A:It's because they kept complaining.
Speaker A:They kept showing up without gratitude and without thankfulness.
Speaker A:Why was that such a big deal?
Speaker A:It was such a big deal then for the same reason it's a big deal now.
Speaker A:You see, our gratitude has a profound impact on our character and on our faith.
Speaker A:You can be happy without being grateful, but a person cannot be filled with gratitude and not be happy.
Speaker A:Happiness does not mean the absence of sorrow.
Speaker A:It's the presence of joy, sometimes even alongside of tremendous sorrow, even in the midst of pain.
Speaker A:And, you know, the holidays are often seen in the United States as, like, happy days, like, there is no sadness allowed.
Speaker A:But this sets people up to have unrealistic expectations of themselves and of others.
Speaker A:So there is a difference between sadness and grief and sorrow and lament and griping and grumbling and having an attitude that is not one of gratitude.
Speaker A:You see, ultimately, gratitude is about faith because it is faith in not the outcomes that we want, but faith in a God who loves us and will give us what we need.
Speaker A:C.S.
Speaker A:lewis wrote an essay about God in the dock.
Speaker A:And that's not like a boat slip or something.
Speaker A:It was like a defendant stand in a courtroom.
Speaker A:And how society had moved from seeing themselves as being in the dock where we are put on trial by God and how we have flipped that.
Speaker A:So now God is on trial.
Speaker A:And grumbling really puts God on trial and says, you're going to be found guilty because you didn't give me fill in the blank.
Speaker A:And an absence of gratitude and a heart that is complaining even internally and towards God because we have obstacles that show up in our path and we don't get to just sail into our promised land.
Speaker A:The story of the Israelites is sobering for us because God wants us to understand that has a profound impact in our character and in our ability to grow in our relationship with him.
Speaker A:So again, there is a difference between lament and grumbling.
Speaker A:So how do we live out gratitude in a real way?
Speaker A:Not just on the national holiday that we call Thanksgiving, but how do we live Thanksgiving every day in our lives?
Speaker A:I'm going to walk through five ways that we can grow in life's key three areas of being spiritually strong, emotionally healthy and relationally smart in our faith and in these ways through gratitude.
Speaker A:All right, you ready?
Speaker A:Here we go.
Speaker A:The first is we act like God is involved in all of life.
Speaker A:Not just that he exists, but he is actively engaged in our life.
Speaker A:Not just out there in the world, but in my world.
Speaker A:In the divine conspiracy that Dallas Willard wrote, which is what we are walking through.
Speaker A:We're taking to some key elements from that book here in this series right now.
Speaker A:He writes, this in my heart easily becomes in my imagination.
Speaker A:And in any case, the question of God's relation to space in the physical world remains unresolved.
Speaker A:If he is not in space at all, he is not in human life which is lived in space.
Speaker A:Those vast oceans of empty space just sit there glowering at the human heart realm where God supposedly has taken refuge from science and the real world.
Speaker A:This ill advised attempt to make God near by confining him to human hearts robs the idea of his direct involvement in human life of any sense.
Speaker A:You know, the Israelites had tangible evidence that God was involved in the real world.
Speaker A:I mean, he brought water out of a rock for them.
Speaker A:He held back the waters of the river so that they could pass through.
Speaker A:God wasn't just in their hearts, like in their minds or their imagination.
Speaker A:They saw physical, tangible evidence that he's involved in real space and in real time.
Speaker A:And we want to live acting like God is actually involved in all of life.
Speaker A:Number two, we act like we want God to be involved in our life.
Speaker A:You know, Dallas writes, persons rarely become present where they are not heartily wanted.
Speaker A:For God wishes to be seen and he wishes to be sought and he wishes to be expected and he wishes to be trusted.
Speaker A:Have you ever tried to have a friendship with somebody that just after a while you kind of gave up because it felt so one sided, like you were the one that was always reaching out and, and inviting them to lunch or to an activity or calling or texting them and you hardly ever got a response?
Speaker A:Well, sometimes that's kind of how we can treat God.
Speaker A:Like he's just supposed to be there waiting for us.
Speaker A:But we don't really need to act like we want him involved in our life very much until we hit a point of desperation.
Speaker A:Have you ever had Those kind of friends where they don't show up at all until they're desperate and they want something from you.
Speaker A:Nobody enjoys those kind of friends for very long.
Speaker A:Well, we don't want to treat God like that.
Speaker A:We want to act like he really not only wants to be involved in our lives, but we need to act like we want God to be involved.
Speaker A:Number three, we act like God is in touch with the reality of life.
Speaker A:Sometimes we can make Christian ideas and truths so theological that they become like balloons up in the sky, floating around that we point to and go, oh yes, I believe that.
Speaker A:But it doesn't really inhabit the realm of our everyday real get out of bed, fix dinner, do the laundry, go to work, mow the grass kind of life.
Speaker A:Dallas writes about that and he says the quote, real world has little room for a God of sparrows and children.
Speaker A:To it, Jesus can only seem otherworldly, a good hearted person out of touch with reality.
Speaker A:Yes, it must be admitted that he is influential, but only because he affirms what weak minded and faint hearted individuals fantasize in the face of a brutal world.
Speaker A:He is like a cheerleader who continues to shout, we are going to win.
Speaker A:Though the score is 98 to 3 in the last minute of the game.
Speaker A:When this cheerleading approach to the real world triumphs among those who profess Christ, they may have faith in faith, but have little faith in God.
Speaker A:For God in his world are just not real to them.
Speaker A:They may believe in believing but not be able to rely on God like many in our current culture who love love, but in practice are unable to love real people.
Speaker A:They may believe in prayer, think it is quite a good thing, but be unable to pray believing, and so will rarely, if ever, pray at all.
Speaker A:We need to act like God is in touch with the reality of our life.
Speaker A:Like he knows about the pile of laundry that has been sitting for enough days that we wonder if we need to run it through the washer and dryer again.
Speaker A:He knows about the bills that are piling up, that we are stressed and we don't know how they're going to get paid.
Speaker A:He knows about the upcoming medical appointment and what the concern that we have over that.
Speaker A:He knows about that relationship that has gone awry, and not just in some theological kind of way, but in a real he's present, he cares, he knows, he understands kind of way.
Speaker A:It's hard to be grateful for people who just don't seem to be very much in touch with the reality of our lives.
Speaker A:I mean, is that not true?
Speaker A:If you know someone, let's say you're going through a very difficult time and there's someone who doesn't understand, doesn't know, doesn't have an awareness of what you're going through, you're going to have a different appreciation.
Speaker A:If they happen to send you in text and says, oh, hey, just thinking about you, just wondered how you were doing.
Speaker A:Then you're.
Speaker A:Then you're going to have.
Speaker A:If somebody else who really knows the depth of the pain that you're walking through sends you a text that can be just about the same words because you understand the heart behind it.
Speaker A:One is very much in touch with the reality of your life and they are showing up in that reality and somebody else maybe just happened to send you a text during that time.
Speaker A:We want to act like God shows up because he's in touch with the reality of life, ours and everybody else's.
Speaker A:Number four.
Speaker A:We act like God is capable of handling all of life.
Speaker A:It's one thing to be aware of reality and it's another thing to be capable of handling it.
Speaker A:Have you ever had a situation that you were very much in touch with the reality of it, but you felt incredibly powerless or helpless to do anything about it?
Speaker A:We don't want to have that attitude towards God.
Speaker A:We want to act like God is capable of handling all of life.
Speaker A:And Dallas writes about this and he says, it is not possible to trust Jesus or anyone else in matters where we do not believe him to be competent.
Speaker A:We cannot pray for his help and rely on his collaboration in dealing with real life matters we suspect might defeat his knowledge or abilities.
Speaker A:Jesus is Lord can mean little in practice for anyone who has to hesitate before saying, Jesus is smart.
Speaker A:And maybe it's just me, but I suspect probably not.
Speaker A:But the truth is, it's one thing to talk about.
Speaker A:Jesus is Lord and God is omnipotent and he has all power and he's all knowing.
Speaker A:But it's another thing in a specific situation that we are facing and we are looking and thinking, I don't see how this is possibly going to work out at all well.
Speaker A:And it comes down to saying, will we truly act like God is capable of handling all of life?
Speaker A:Again, going back to one of the things I said early on, this isn't believing God for the outcomes we want.
Speaker A:It is believing that he is able to handle, to give us whatever we need to deal with whatever comes.
Speaker A:Have you ever been in a situation where you needed help and someone was nearby who had the means to help you, but they Wouldn't help.
Speaker A:It isn't.
Speaker A:It's not enough for us to believe that God has the competency to help us if we don't believe that he has the desire to help us.
Speaker A:And this is where we need to believe.
Speaker A:Not just in God's capacity and his competency, but we need to believe in his heart towards us, in his desires for us, that he actually wants to take care of us.
Speaker A:And this is what the Israelites did not do.
Speaker A:They refused to believe that God was for them until what?
Speaker A:Until he gave them what they needed or what they wanted.
Speaker A:And every time they did, then again, what would they do?
Speaker A:Oh, woohoo.
Speaker A:God, you're awesome.
Speaker A:You're great.
Speaker A:Wonderful.
Speaker A:I mean, big worship service, rah, rah, rah.
Speaker A:But it didn't really change their thoughts.
Speaker A:It didn't change how they showed up the next time that they encountered difficulty.
Speaker A:But we don't want to repeat their mistakes.
Speaker A:It's a sobering story, but it doesn't have to be our story.
Speaker A:We can't learn from it and choose to have not just a day of good food and celebration and of, quote, Thanksgiving, but we can choose to have a lifestyle of giving thanks.
Speaker A:We can choose to have a character of gratitude and make that a habit and a practice.
Speaker A:It will not happen by default.
Speaker A:It only happens with intention.
Speaker A:And we don't want to just focus on that because it makes us a little nicer person to be around, although it certainly has that benefit.
Speaker A:But it is far more significant than that.
Speaker A:It will shape what we believe about God and it will put us in positions or remove us from positions where we are able to walk into the promised land, the promises that God has for us.
Speaker A:All right, my friend, that's going to wrap us up.
Speaker A:Whatever you are doing this week, and I know some of you are not in the United States and this may be a holiday that you don't celebrate in your country.
Speaker A:That's okay.
Speaker A:You could still come of adopt it from us here in the United States.
Speaker A:But whatever you are doing this week, my friend, I pray that you will have safety and that you will have an attitude of gratitude.
Speaker A:Not just because it seems to be the thing to do, but because it is an ongoing practice that you're going to make part of your life.
Speaker A:Hey, speaking of gratitude, I would be incredibly grateful if you would leave a review for the podcast and share this with just one person.
Speaker A:Well, okay, you can share with more than one.
Speaker A:You're not limited to just one, but if you share it with one, that helps the podcast to grow and more people to be able to grow spiritually strong, emotionally healthy and relationally smart.
Speaker A:And also share this with your women's ministry coordinator, your pastor, your Christian school or homeschool group administrator and ask them to inquire about my coming to speak in your area.
Speaker A:And let me say again, thank you for listening.
Speaker A:Thank you for the times that you reach out by email and you give me some feedback.
Speaker A:For those of you who are subscribers to my weekly newsletter, High Impact, thank you as well to you.
Speaker A:I don't take for granted and I am grateful for the opportunity to just show up and be present in your life in a small way.
Speaker A:All right, my friend, that's going to wrap us up for today.
Speaker A:Remember, as always, you have an impact that is immeasurable, eternal and irreplaceable.
Speaker A:I'll see you next time.
Stephanie Smith:Thank you for listening.
Stephanie Smith:Visit the website stephaniepresents.com and sign up for High Impact to join the mission of building spiritually strong, emotionally healthy and relationally smart women and families.
Stephanie Smith:You can also book Stephanie to speak at your event and check out additional resources.
Stephanie Smith:Together we can invite and equip generations to engage fully in God's grand story.
